New Member FAQs

I have applied but haven't been accepted yet...why not?

We like to have fun without reservation, so we take membership very seriously! Keeping this community growing and connecting positively takes work. Membership approval depends on your openness in answering the questions, whether you are a good fit with our community, whether you included an actual photo of yourself, and membership balance (gender, orientation, experiences, skills you can lend to the group, etc.) If you are waiting more than a week, please consider learning more about the group by reviewing this site (what we're about), messaging with more detail in your answers to the questions, adding a photo of yourself, highlighting your assets/skills/experiences/orientation-fluidity, and/or joining with a female friend.

I'm in! Where do I start?

Read the Care & Confidentiality Commitment, Levels Explained, How to Level Up, and basically everything in Resources :).

Look at the Calendar and RSVP to as many Level 1 events as you can/would like to attend - especially Orientation, Awesome Boundaries, STARS, and one of our Socials (only RSVP if you are able to attend).

Attend as many Level 1 events as possible (unRSVP as soon as you realize you can't attend an event). Attending events gets you into the community, making friends/connections and learning about sex positivity!

Attend Orientation as soon as you can to learn the nitty gritty of SPP! (P.S. - this is necessary to level up to Level 2, along with paying your dues).

I've attended some events, why am I not leveling up?

Be sure to check How to Level Up to see if you are attending the required events to level up and don't forget to pay your dues. You can always message SPP Membership for more information.

I don't understand all this level stuff. Can anyone help me?

Of course! Our Leadership is here to help you navigate the levels and feel safely welcome in the group as you experience the community and grow. Go to a Social or Orientation! Ask an event facilitator or Ambassador! Leadership wear badges at events so feel free to ask any one of them to help you out! Only contact designated leadership (Event Hosts, Ambassadors, Board Members) or members you have met in person. We do not allow trolling of our members.

Can I bring non-members to events?

You can bring non-members to Level 1 events, public events, and outings. Level 2 and above events are for paid level-appropriate members only. Friends who have been active in the sex positive community (educators, therapists, known-kinksters/BDSM/community members, etc.) might be able to attend depending on the event and on a case-by-case basis (depending on event-type, venue size, etc.). Contact the event host or a leader to address specific situations.

I've been a member of other sex positive communities before, do I need to attend every event on the Leveling Up Checklist, or can I fast track?

The levelling system is not only there to educate you in the ways of sex-positivity. It is also in place in order to create a safe container for all of our members. By holding to the leveling system, we ensure that you get to know our community and vice versa. We want to make sure you feel well integrated with our community and that the community feels comfortable with you. So even if you are an expert in all things sex-positive, if the community does not know you, it would be inappropriate for you to attend higher levels events. There are rare cases where someone is well known in our community though has not been officially part of SPP. These exceptionally rare cases are handled with great care by our Leadership Team. While some exceptions are made, the general rule is everyone goes through the system the same way to create an equal, fair community.

My partner has been attending events as my +1, why is s/he not leveling up?

We track attendance by RSVPs. If your partner is not RSVP'd themselves, they may not get credit for attending. Individual memberships are the best way to ensure you get credit for every event you attend and level up at the pace that is healthy/safe for you. If your partner or friend has been attending events as a +1 please encourage them to apply and officially join SPP. Once they do so, they need to communicate to membership which classes they have attended so they can get proper credit for leveling.

How do I submit events, suggestions, or complaints?

Events - Anyone with Event Organizer privileges can draft an event for approval. In order to receive these privileges you must attend a How to Host an Event class which pop up on our Calendar periodically. In addition, you can always suggest an event to our wonderful Events Coordinator, Karen!

Suggestions for the group - policies, subgroups, etc. should be sent to Leadership and directed to the most appropriate group. For example, if your suggestion pertains to events, send them to the Events Coordinator. Suggestions for an existing event should be submitted to the Event Host.

Complaints should be brought to the attention of the event host if they are about the event itself or behavior at an event (or to someone in Leadership, like an Ambassador, if the host is part of the complaint). At the beginning of each event the host(s) should introduce themselves and identify members of leadership present, so you know who to go to with questions, attendance/membership issues, leveling up information, or any other/issues or concerns that may arise during an event. Also, members of Leadership wear badges so they are easy to identify at events. Please, for your own safety and the health of our community, do not brush safety or boundary concerns aside. Bring them up to leadership right away. For more details please see our Resolving Member Complaints section.

What is "trolling?"

When you contact someone out of the blue without first meeting them in person this is called trolling. We don’t allow trolling. We are not OKCupid or Tinder. We expect our members to respect each other and our policies, and our members thank us again and again for upholding them.

If you message someone by mistake (they aren’t the person you had a 10-minute conversation with at an event — the wrong “Jenny” if you will) just apologize and move on. If you keep the conversation going without them knowing you and they let us know, we become concerned that you may not understand the policies and could continue to, knowingly or unknowingly, disrespect our members. Please review the guidelines to better understand this and other policies.

The only exception to this policy is if you have pertinent questions for Leadership. You may contact Leadership through Meetup. Please note that they will have special designations next to their Level status, for example: 'L4, Ambassador' or 'L4, Board Member.' Also, if someone is a designated sponsor and you want them to sponsor you for an event you may contact them through Meetup as well.