Concerns and Complaints

Resolving Member Complaints and Concerns

Steps to resolving member complaints swiftly and compassionately

SexPositive Portland realizes that there may be times when one member purposely or more likely, unintentionally does not follow our Member Best Practices. We have a dedicated team of volunteers, the Membership Concerns and Conflict Committee (MC3) who are here to support you and help one navigate this.

Please read the Member Communication Agreement and agree to follow the recommendations of not participating in gossip, hearsay, or coalition building against the person as this only inflames sentiments and makes it harder to get to the bottom of things.

If this is a minor issue: Talk to the person! We are always afraid to talk to people! Practice your new communication skills. Use 'I' statements and not 'you' statements. Share your hurt without accusations. Did this work? If YES, you have potentially created a new friend!! If NO then go to the next step of filling out a incident form and cease all communication with the person you are reporting.

Is this a major issue? Fill out a incident form and a member of the Membership Concern and Complaint Committee (MC3) will be contacting you both.Please allow up to 7 days. If it needs immediate attention then directly message MC3 Leadership and the Executive Director. You can email at

Step 1

A CONFLICT or Boundary Violation: Directly communication with the other person(s) when issues arise that need to be resolved. Be clear and let the person know that what they have done which is not acceptable to you and that they should not do it again. As much as possible, we agree to talk about and listen through issues in a constructive and caring manner. We will avoid using blaming language or language that includes a diagnosis of someone else. We strive to talk from our own observations of what happened, how that affected us, and to say how we wish to be treated in the future. If you feel comfortable that they get it and that they will be more aware and respectful of your boundaries in the future, then no more action in needed. If they don’t seem to get it or you do not feel safe directly communicating, then go to the next step.

A CONCERN: Proceed to Step 2

Step 2

Fill out this incident form. Cease all communication with the person you are reporting. Both parties will be asked not to attend events past Level One while report is being reviewed.

Step 3

You will be contacted by one of our members of the MC3. Please give us up to 7 days. We are an all volunteer committee and sometimes it takes us time.

Please have all available documentation and witness statements available for review, that includes text streams, emails, voicemails, or any other communication you have.

Step 4

Concerns Concerns often do not require intervention. Someone from the MC3 will be in contact with the person filing the complaint to let them know it has been received. Sometimes Concerns will wait for our every other month meetings to discuss. They are kept in a file for documentation.

Conflicts A member of the MC3 will be assigned to both parties. If the incident was fairly minor, often, it is enough that we talk to the person and give them coaching and training for how to be better with boundaries. However, for stronger claims, it may be necessary that we have both parties in the room in order to clear things up. In that case, both parties must be in attendance with their MC3 representative, unless the evidence is overwhelming and it is agreed that it would be detrimental to the claimant to be there.If one party is unable to be present at a mediation, for whatever reason, they should send a letter outlining their position; and it will be taken under consideration. However, we strongly desire that members be present unless it would be grievously injurious to them (i.e., more than uncomfortable or inconvenient).

Members will be advised of the MC3 decisions and agree to abide by them or leave the group.

We know that perfect solutions are hard to come by, so we agree to be as forgiving and understanding as possible, both with the people involved and the people assisting in any conflict resolution.

We take claims very seriously. All forms and concerns will be filed for future reference.

The MC3 meets every other month. Depending on the severity of the concern or conflict, our response times may vary. Any immmediate or serious need should be directed to the MC3, Leadership, and the Executive Director/CEO.