SexPositive Portland (SPP) is a community of individuals actively creating a culture of care, confidentiality, and consent. To foster a loving and drama-free which allows learning and personal growth, the following is the code of conduct in the community. We grant and retract membership privileges based on a member’s ability to conduct themselves well within our community today and moving forward.
Direct communication is of highest value in SPP. All communications are voluntary and consensual (meaning free of coercion, harassment, or pressure).
As much as possible, members will talk about and listen through issues in a constructive and caring manner.
Members will avoid using blaming language or language that includes a diagnosis of someone else. We strive to talk from our own observations of what happened, how that affected us, and to say how we wish to be treated in the future.
Trolling is defined as contacting another member (phone, social media, Meetup messages, others) without having had prior consent to do so explicitly from that member. Trolling is not allowed.
Gossip Gossip (repeating hearsay or build coalitions to gain support against other members) is not allowed or tolerated.
Members will not share someone else’s story unless they have the explicit and informed consent to share it.
We will ONLY publicly point out what another member said or did with that other member’s consent and ONLY in order to discuss a pertinent issue.
*Conflict Resolution *
Members will express concerns by directly speaking with the other member, the host/ facilitator at the event or giving information to the Membership Care & Concerns Committee (MC3) via the Incident Report.
Member-in-conflict/concern is to take action themselves in the manner stated above. They are not to have another person serve as a mediator, go-betweens or advocates in lieu of the stated process.
Member-in-conflict can have an ally to offer assistance and help in the MC3 process if it has been clearly defined and agreed to.
Social Media SPP social media forums, such as the public, private SPP and SPW Facebook group and the Meetup event group discussions are not an arena to air grievances or concerns about a specific person or to complain about an event, SPP, or the community at large.
ALL such posts can be removed by the Administrator or moderator.
The Administrator or Moderators can close the discussion on a thread if it does not meet these standards.
RSVP to attend an event is a commitment.
If a member cannot make an event, they must change their RSVP more than two hours prior to the start of the event.
If less than two hours, members will leave a message or notify the event host on the event page as well as changing the RSVP.
More than three no-shows can lead to not being taken off the waitlist, being removed from an event with a waitlist, or being asked to prepay for all events.
More than five no-show can lead to revoking membership in SPP.
Personal hygiene Members will come to events clean and substantially free of odors, both natural and enhanced (some people are allergic and/or intolerant of essential oils, perfumes, and colognes.)
Sobriety Members will arrive and remain substantially sober at events to give affirmative consent, be present, connected, and not be annoying to others.
*Safer Sex Discussion * Members will use a safer sex dicussion such a STARS, when appropriate, prior to any sexual or strongly sensual engagement with others. This includes, but not limited to,
Honestly discussing STI status, including last tested and results.
Communication and respecting boundaries without judgment or coercion prior to any engagement and during the engagement if they change.
Ethically disclosing any relationship agreements with others.
Discussing intentions and expectations pertaining to engaging with others in a sensual/sexual context.
Members take responsibility for their own decisions and experiences at events and will seek support from the event host/facilitators or other members as needed.
Members take care of fellow members by offering assistance directly or notifying the event host when someone seems stuck, lost, confused, lonely, see a boundary violation or in trauma.
Members will take responsibility for their own experiences and will speak up rather than tolerate or endure experiences they do not like.
Members will seek help from a care counselor if needed.
Conduct Outside of SPP or Conduct from the Past:
Issues that were problematic elsewhere or in the past manifesting in the present can lead to revoked membership.
A member exhibits a pattern of distressing multiple members outside our community in ways that negatively affect members within our community.
If a conflict is to exist outside of the SPP container, it will be determined by the MC3 if it is egregious, involves people within the SPP container and can be detrimental to the community as a whole.
Non-Disclosure We protect the privacy of our members. Not everyone is out and open about their exploration of sexuality, their orientation or their relationship practices in their personal or professional lives.
Members will not divulge the identity of other members.
Members will not share the experiences or stories of other members within or outside of SPP without their express consent.
Members will not share Facebook posts from within the SPP secret group outside of that group without express consent from the original poster
Members will not tag anyone on social media without their consent.
Members will not take photos or videos at events without permission from BOTH leadership or event host/facilitator AND the individuals being photographed.
Members will not share photos or videos from within the SPP secret Facebook group outside of that group without express consent from BOTH the original poster AND everyone in the photograph.
Members may not tag anyone on social media or outing anyone without their explicit verbal consent.