# SexPositive Portland (SPP)

### *Our mission is to change the world by promoting healthy sexuality through community and education.*

## Come, learn, play, and grow with us!  

We are a member/volunteer organization. Our members plan and host events centered around understanding and exploring all aspects of human sexuality, consent, relationship styles, kink, gender, and orientation. We are a diverse and welcoming community.

## What is Sex Positivity?

Sex positivity is a social movement and philosophy which regards all consensual expressions of sexuality as healthy, encourages sexual pleasure and experimentation, places an emphasis on informed consent and advocates sex education and risk-aware sex. Sex-positivity makes no moral distinctions among types of sexual expression, orientation or identification, regarding these choices as matters of personal preference.

## What Does Our Group Do?

SexPositive Portland is a real community of open-minded, fun, and awake people. We provide a chance to explore, learn, and grow in a safe, welcoming, and consensual environment. 

Our real world events include classes, discussion groups, workshops, socials, parties, festivals, and more. They range from member hosted events (in homes, parks, restaurants, etc.), outings together where we might go watch and signature events (facilitated events like our snuggles, couple/triads massages, and parties), that are created by SexPositive Portland and led by its core volunteers.

We value healthy sexuality that is created through autonomy, boundary setting, enthusiastic consent, and pleasure. We are creating a community based on direct communication, social justice, connection, fun, and support. We value accessible education focused on experiences and growth, and replacing unhelpful patterns of behavior through a diversity of new ideas.

## About Applying

[Learn the details of applying here](/join)

## How Do I Participate at Events?

At events you are expected to be respectful of the boundaries of others and of the event, to take care of yourself, and honor your boundaries and agreements. Beyond that, anything else is up to you. You will never be expected to do anything you don't want to, or to interact with anyone you don’t wish to. But we do expect you to contribute as an active participant through positive social interaction. Sex positivity is about authentic, respectful, open communication, and being honest about your desires.

To keep people where they want to be (not exposed to things they aren't ready for or don't desire) we've developed a level system and you will notice that all of our events will tell you what level that event is, that is, what is the maximum level of contact or sexuality that will be happening.

In a nutshell:

- Level 1 is Social/Educational (workshops, classes, outings, discussion groups) 
- Level 2 is Sensual (snuggle parties, group massage, sensation play: touch that is nurturing and affectionate) 
- Level 3 is Sexy without an agenda. Learning how to integrate and create connection
- Level 4 is Deeper Community

Detailed descriptions of the levels [can be found here](/resources/levels-explained).

Anyone can attend Level 1 events  so please feel free to bring a friend or loved one. However, if you wish to attend Level 2 or higher events you must attend an Orientation, Awesome Boundaries, STARS, a Social and pay your annual dues.

We have an established system for vetting people and helping them work up the level system. But many people are happy staying at Level 1 or 2 or 3.

People tell us our level system is the thing they like the most about our group. 

__For more information:__

* Visit our public Facebook Page [https://www.facebook.com/sexpositiveportland](https://www.facebook.com/sexpositiveportland/)
* [The SPP Board](/board)
* [Contact](/contacts)

[Join SexPositive Portland](/join)


# Care And Confidentiality Commitment

Care includes: safer sex knowledge and practice, hygiene, substantial sobriety, disclosing relationship agreements, discussing “meaning,” RSVP practices and more. Please see Boundaries and Consent in the Pages of our Meetup site.

Confidentiality includes: privacy, photo policy, non-disclosure, and more.

To keep our group safe and harmonious, please confirm the following statements:
- I’m over 21 years of age.
- I know how to do the safer sex talk and will use it when appropriate.
- I will ask others about their STI status when appropriate and will take care of myself.
- I will come to events clean and substantially free of odors, both natural and enhanced (some people are allergic and/or intolerant of essential oils, perfumes, and colognes)
- I will arrive and remain substantially sober for the purposes of being able to 1) give affirmative consent, 2) be present and connected, and 3) not be annoying to others
- I will disclose my relationship agreements to fellow members and allow them to decide how to proceed.
- I will share what the “meaning” of an interaction would be for me if it is of significance to me and will ask you for yours (if this makes no sense, see Safer Sex Talk).
- I will clearly communicate my boundaries and will ask for and respect others' boundaries.
- I take responsibility for my own experience and will not “tolerate” experiences I don’t’ like. I will seek help from a care counselor if needed, will share concerns about other members/volunteers/ leaders with a member of the Membership Committee, and will follow the Steps to Resolving Conflicts as outline in the document of the same name, found on the Pages section of our Meetup page.
- I’ll take care of fellow members by offering assistance when they seem stuck, lost, lonely, when I see them violating boundaries or allowing their boundaries to be violated.
- I will not divulge the identity of other attendees or share their experience without their express permission. Not to another person, not on Facebook, not on their Meetup wall.
- I will not take photos at events without permission from BOTH leadership and the individuals being photographed.

# Concerns and Complaints

* [Resolving Member Complaints](/resources/resolving-member-complaints)
* [Member Incident Report](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScPDLfkV0GAk942cKzPUu3gEyl52Dr7E_oUwf4UPlFTQ1z0nw/viewform "Member Incident Report Form")

# Contacts

## Executive Team
* Evelin Dacker, MD -- CEO [contact through Meetup](https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/members/188600726/)

  ![Evelin](//images.ctfassets.net/z60c05cc1iui/5QdbCLfjgW2iWYoSU8sayk/57447591a6ace1926ed561353d4a06ae/Evelin.jpeg)
* Karen Hery -- COO [contact through Meetup](https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/members/4955605/)

  ![Karen](//images.ctfassets.net/z60c05cc1iui/4KkDOOLFxS0UckAoEO2yI4/641cd8f03a0fc45450f1ce0a3b9471fe/Karen.jpeg)
* Walker -- COO [contact through Meetup](https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/members/225124685/)

  ![Walker](//images.ctfassets.net/z60c05cc1iui/1GoO59QkI8s444w4yuwgCO/c6dc78481c692c401af5409411e2619f/Walker.jpeg)

## SPP Board

[SPP Board Page](/board)

## Membership Team
* SPP Membership - General questions (Amy) [contact through Meetup](https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/members/189929146/)
* Leveling 1-2 - Specific questions regarding leveling up to L2 (Adam) [contact through Meetup](https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/members/189929146/) 
* SPP Sponsorship (Annika, Kirsa) - Specific questions for leveling sponsorships. [contact through Meetup](https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/members/248727576/) 

## Membership Concerns and Conflict

[SPP Concerns](https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/members/249010430/)

## Volunteering

[SPP Volunteering](https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/members/250804144/)

## Events

So you would like to suggest an event idea? Or maybe host your own? Please submit ideas to our lovely Karen Hery [through Meetup](https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/members/4955605/).

## All Members

[General members](https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/members/)


# Event Accounting Instructions

Please fill out a separate form for each event and put money, receipts and form into
an envelope with the event title on the front.

[The printable form can be found here](https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B51He2RssHd9T2E0eHVRZ2hMSHViaUdDUTUwcWhxWGE0UDNJ/view?usp=sharing)

List the __Date__ and __Day of the Week__ (Mon-Sun) of the event. List the __Event__ title
as listed in Meet-up. __$$$ Collected__ is the total amount of cash. __PayPal
Collected__ is the amount paid via PayPal. __Expenses__ are the expenses for the
event (food, coffee, tea, oil, etc.). Please include receipts for any expenses.
__Facilitator Name__ is particularly important for outside facilitators. __$ to Facilitator__
documents what we are paying for them to present. Core classes (Awesome
Boundaries, STARS, Orientation and Socials) should still have facilitator names even
though they are not compensated.

__Contact Name and Number__ is the person who filled out the form and their phone
number in case there are questions.

Thanks for your service! It helps SPP to track finances.

If your event is not at the center, you will be able to find this form on our website
soon. Paper forms are necessary for bookkeeping, so if you use the website form,
please print it out.

Money should generally be taken to the lock box at the center. If you need to mail
it or turn it in some other way, please contact Walker at 206-719-8102.

If you are facilitating an event or hosting for an outside facilitator, please go to
Meetup for that event after the event is over and make sure attendance is correct.
If someone shows up who was not registered or who registered as a +1 as a
member, you can search them and add them to the event.

As an SPP-member facilitator, you can claim 60% of the take after expenses from a
non-core event. If an outside facilitator is brought in, they can take up to 70% of
the take. Core events include Awesome Boundaries, STARS, Coffee Socials, Wine
Socials and Orientation.

Hosts can take money to cover costs of cleaning and food or other incidental costs
of putting on an event.

[The printable form can be found here](https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B51He2RssHd9T2E0eHVRZ2hMSHViaUdDUTUwcWhxWGE0UDNJ/view?usp=sharing)

Thanks for keeping our community financially viable!


# Events

* [Calendar - See the full calendar pages all at once](https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/events/calendar/)
* [Upcoming Events](https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/events/)
* [Public Events](https://calendar.google.com/calendar/embed?src=ta7c6f73itiin20rhagcggu6vs%40group.calendar.google.com&ctz=America%2FLos_Angeles "Sex Positive Portland Public Events")
* [Past Events](https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/events/past/)

# How to Level Up

Here is how you can make the most of your SexPositive Portland (SPP) experience:

In SPP, there’s a level for everyone! You may find that Level 1 and Level 2 events fill your cup quite nicely, while others find that Level 3 is their bliss! Here is an easy guide to understanding the leveling up process. Complete discriptions of the levels are described in [Levels 1-4 Explained](/resources/levels-explained).

# Non-Leveled

Once you have been accepted into membership, you can attend any Level 1 event. Until you've paid membership dues, you will not have a level. Your current level appears as a title next to your name on your SPP Meetup profile. Non-leveled members do not have a title.

# Level 1

You be be designated Level 1 once have paid your membership dues. You will have a "L1" title next to your name on your SPP Meetup profile (https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/profile/). It can take up to a week for the "L1" title to appear.

# Level 2

At Level 2 (L2), you can attend all of our amazing touch-positive events such as Massage-a-Trois, the Tantra Series, and Cuddle events.

To get to L2, you must have paid your yearly dues and completed the following classes and socials:

- Awesome Boundaries
- A Social (with the word "Social" in the title. Socials are defined as "inclusive social event of >15 people. Subgroup gatherings do not count.). 
- Orientation
- STARS
- Suggested: one other event designated L1. This can be an educational class or a discussion group.

The "SPP Membership" team will level you up within a week after you have attended these events.

If you have done these things and still don’t see an L2 by your name within a week after meeting the above requirements, reach out to the [Membership Retention Lead through the member name of "SPP Membership" on Meetup](https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/members/189929146/) to let them know that you are ready.

# Level 3

Once you have actively attended Level 2 events, you may feel that you are ready and interested in exploring Level 3 (L3) events.

To get to L3, you must take the following steps: 

- You must attend at least two L3 or progressive L2/3 events with a sponsor. Sponsors are event specific and should be different for each event. [Use the Sponsor RSVP form.](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1PV5SaBRwOKn5FCVAglPW2FjmB72dpEom5SdGAWAjZ-g/viewform?edit_requested=true#start=invite "Sponsor RSVP form")
- Be current on your dues.
- Be able to give a STARS talk to your sponsor
- Have volunteered at or hosted an event.

Any L3 or L4 person can agree to sponsor you, provided they are not sexually active with you and do not intend to become so in the near future. Ask anyone you feel comfortable with, and don’t worry if you get a few rejections. The sponsor should know you well and feel comfortable recommending or not recommending you (with direct communication to you) for advancement.

- Your Sponsor cannot be a lover.
- Your Sponsor cannot be a Host of event.
- Your Sponsor cannot not have other Sponsees for said event.
- Your Sponsor should be different for each event.

Further details about the sponsor process can be found in [Sponsors: Who, What, Why and How](/resources/sponsors).

Once approved by the Membership Sponsor Lead, sign up for an L3 or a progressive L2-L3 event with your sponsor and notify the host of the event that you are attending with your sponsor. 

When the sponsor believes that you are ready, they will send a message to the Membership Sponsor Lead through the member name of "SPP Membership" proposing Level 3 status. The Membership Committee will either grant the status or make other recommendations.

It’s important to understand that L3 events are not suitable for everyone. Unclear personal boundaries, poor hygiene, lack of respect for others, unhealed trauma, and other personal issues that may affect other members negatively are all reasons to stick with L1/L2 events. The Membership Team has the responsibility to make level determinations. 

If you have attended several L3 events, as well as more lower level events, you may feel that you are ready and interested in exploring L4 events.

# Level 4
To get to L4, you must take the following steps: 
- Be current on your dues
- Have volunteered at or hosted multiple events.
- Attend events regularly, especially lower level events where you act as a supporter and encourager of newer members. 
- Have sponsored one or more people (suggested but not necessary).
- Be proficient at having the safer sex talk (STARS).
- Ask for it by contacting CEO [Evelin Dacker](https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/members/188600726/) or [SPP Membership](https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/members/189929146/). The Membership Committee will either grant the status or make other recommendations.

# Maintaining L3 and L4 status:

- Be current on your dues.
- Volunteer at or host an event at any level at least once per year.
- Attend events at your level within your initial six months and once per year thereafter.
- Volunteer at or host at least one event at your level within the initial six months and once per year thereafter.


# SP members from other chapters:
- They will be given a temporary designation of L2 if they were L2 or higher.
- They need to attend a social to get to know members of our community. 
- They need to attend one core class (Awesome Boundaries, Orientation or Leveling UP) in SPP before moving to L3 if they were previously L3 or L4. 
- The process to L4 remains the same. Leveling up isn’t about past experience outside of SPP. The major factor is how any petitioning member is known in and viewed by the SPP community.
- However, they can be hosted to L3 and L4 events by a L3 or L4 member of SPP, regardless of their designation, if they have achieved L3 or L4, respectively, in another chapter.

# Leveling Up:

This process depends on you; it will move as quickly as you are motivated for it to move. For some, with openness and past experiences moving between levels may take a short time. A sponsor may assist in this process. Some individuals may take longer or want to stop at a level for a while, enjoy themselves, and build extra trust in their community before moving to another level.

For further explanation of the SPP levels please see the [Levels 1-4 Explained](/resources/levels-explained).


# Incident Report

Download the [incident report form](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Irf2bIpWXNp2Sl-h34RFuE65bMDBSPoPl9P7OKLDtv4/edit) and fill it out.  Submit it via Meetup to SPPConcerns.

---

__Here are the questions you'll find on the form__

Your Name: 
Email:
Date of Incident:
Member you are making complaint about:

- Boundary crossing related to touch or any type of sexual contact
- Boundary crossing related to communication
- Social Media
    - Trolling-communication with an unknown party that continues after boundaries are articulated
    - Continued verbal communication once boundaries have been articulated
    - Continued electronic communication once boundaries have been articulated
- Confidentiality violation (they shared information about you or outed you or a fellow member)
- Use of abusive, harassing or demeaning language about you or other members
- Spreading rumors
- Bad Hygiene
- Intoxication or drug use
- Leveling system violations

__Answering the following questions may help in filing a report__

How were your boundaries crossed?

Did you feel physically unsafe?

Did you feel emotionally unsafe?

Did you know your boundaries before they were crossed (many people only figure this out afterwards)?

Did you clearly articulate your boundaries before and/or after they were crossed?

Were you able to let the person know what they did (direct communication)? If not, why?

If you did, did you feel heard?

If you didn’t feel heard, why?

If you didn’t, could you now? (In writing, in person, with a third party present)

If not, why? How can we help you?

How would you approach this situation in the future?

Have you learned something from this?


__When you have completed the form please send it via a message on Meetup to SPPconcerns__


## Apply To SPP

__*Please understand the following before starting the application*__

We are a secret group. That means only members can see your profile.

PLEASE FILL OUT ALL QUESTIONS FULLY AND COMPLETELY. Short answers mean that you have not read this and will be immediately denied.

The main things we seek in our members are:

* Understanding of sex-positivity. We are not a dating or hook-up group. We are a community.

* Related experience or learning (books, workshops, friendship circles). Total newbies will be considered, but you'll need to bring a lot of the next item.

* Enthusiasm and willingness to be a part of a community by volunteering or coming out to events regularly.

* We are not a hook-up group, a dating site or a place for swingers to play.

* We look for emotional maturity, social awareness, good communication styles and a willingness to grow.

* You must live within 60 miles of Portland or visit often.

* If you have a common name, please add your last name or an initial. We prefer real names, not aliases.

* You must be over 21.

* Couples must apply separately. Please reference each other in your individual applications.

* You must have a recognizable photo of your face, without sunglasses or a mask. The photo must show only you, without anyone else.

When you fill out your profile, know that that is what other members will see and how they'll decide if they want to be friends and/or play with you

Men, we love you and need you, but please understand, we get a lot more applications from single men than their female counterparts so, please be understanding if we bring an extra level of scrutiny.

Note: membership is managed by Meetup.com. The link below will take you to Meetup.com to signup to SPP. If you don't have a Meetup account, you will be instructed to create one.

[Take me to the application form!](https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/?action=join)


# Leveling

* About Leveling
  * [Levels 1-4 Explained](/resources/levels-explained)
  * [How to Level Up](/resources/how-to-level-up)
  * [Leveling Up Checklist](/resources/leveling-up-checklist)
  * [Positively Kinky Leveling System](/resources/positively-kinky-leveling)
* Leveling up to L3
  * [Sponsors: Who, What, Why and How](/resources/sponsors)
  * [Leveling to L3: Let us know your sponsor](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1PV5SaBRwOKn5FCVAglPW2FjmB72dpEom5SdGAWAjZ-g/viewform?edit_requested=true#start=invite)
  * [L3 Sponsors: Give feedback about a sponsee](/resources/sponsor-feedback)


# Leveling Up Checklist

The requirements for leveling up are explained in "Levels 1-4 Explained."  But let’s be honest... nothing beats a good old fashioned checklist when you’re working to plan and navigate your path. Do not fear the requirements; fellow members and leadership are here to help you navigate the process and achieve your goals.

Download a [printable check list here](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Sc91sQFPVt3lhW49JzSc5BjwVguuM3ngeyxQRit_xno/edit)!


## L1
*Social/Educational L1 events are open to members and non-members alike.*

To be considered L1:
- Show up to an open public or L1 event
- Pay dues

## L2
*Sensual events*

To move to L2 you must complete:
- Be current on your dues
- Awesome Boundaries class
- One Social (any inclusive event >15 people called “Social”)
- Orientation
- STARS class
- Recommend: One other event designated L1. This can be an educational class or a discussion group.

## L3 
*Sexy events!*

To move to L3 you must complete:
- Be current on your dues
- Attend at least two L3 events with a sponsor. (See calendar for which L3 events allow L2s with sponsors.)
- Be able to give a STARS talk to your sponsor.
- Positive Feedback from Sponsor is required.
(You MUST [complete the sponsor form](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1PV5SaBRwOKn5FCVAglPW2FjmB72dpEom5SdGAWAjZ-g/viewform?edit_requested=true#start=invite "Sponsor form") and let SPP Sponsor know via Meetup messaging PRIOR to attending each event who your sponsor is.)

## L4
*Sexual*

To move to L4 you must complete:
- Be current on your dues
- Have volunteered at or hosted multiple events
- Attend events regularly, especially lower level events where you act as a supporter and encourager of newer members
- Have sponsored one or more people (suggested but not necessary)
- Be good at STARS talk
- Ask for it by contacting CEO [Evelin Dacker](https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/members/188600726/) or [SPP Membership](https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/members/189929146/). The Membership Committee will either grant the status or make other recommendations

## L3 & L4 Maintenance

- Be current on your dues
- Volunteer at or host an event at any level at least once per year
- Attend events at your level within your initial six months and once per year thereafter
- Volunteer at or host at least one event at your level within the initial six months and once per year thereafter.

# Levels 1-4 Explained

SexPositive Portland events are coded Levels 1 through 4.

The posted level for an event indicates the maximum level of activity that may take place at that event. This is to ensure that you never attend an event with activities that exceed your comfort zone. Also, know that you will not be allowed to attend events above the level you have been approved for (to learn how to move from one level to the next, see [How To Level Up](/resources/how-to-level-up).

Rest assured, you will NEVER be expected to do anything that is not a “Hell Yes!” for you, no matter what level event you attend, no matter what anyone else is doing, and no matter what you may have done previously with any particular person. No means no, and all activity must be fully consensual.

## Level 1 - Social/Educational

You will start at L1 and can attend any events that are designated L1. We encourage you to attend many L1 events in the beginning in order to get a feel for the group, meet people you like and who like you, create trust, and build new relationships with your fellow members. Events are open to all members and non-members alike. Feel free to bring friends, family and co-workers. Come to as many L1 events as you can to make friends and learn about our organization.

L1 events include workshops, classes, wine or coffee socials, plays, outings to shows, etc. A greeting hug is the most physical contact you can have at this event.

## Level 2 - Sensual

This level is all about getting touch needs met in a platonic and playful context. Sadly, the vast majority of people never receive the amount of nurturing and affectionate touch that is needed to keep them happy and healthy, and/or touch that is free of a sexuality agenda. 

L2 events often include snuggle parties, experiential workshops, and massage trades. You cannot bring friends who are not L2 or above members. To be at this level you must have attended a Social, and have completed Orientation, Awesome Boundaries, and STARS classes. After these core classes are completed and your dues are paid, as an L2, you should be able to recognize and understand your own comfort level, show effective demonstration of your boundaries, and have a knowledge of your wants, needs and desires. You should be starting to use and further developing your sexual safety talk (STARS).

*Exception: the event host or facilitator has the authority to approve a guest under certain circumstances.*

After you've attended your orientation, you have 60 days to pay your annual dues. Payment of dues are required for becoming L2.

## Level 3 - Sexy!

At L3, you will be playing in sexual energy and getting really excited - but not engaging in penetrative sex or intentional orgasms. This level presents great opportunities to practice consent and communication; to recognize, respect and express boundaries; to explore things you are curious about in a safe environment; and to delve deeply into what moves you. Feel we're leaving this a bit vague? Well, we are.

Level 3 events are very special events where deep connection and incredible fun is possible. Therefore, they are a privilege which we reserve for members who have paid their dues and are active in the community. The Event Host and/or Leadership (volunteers who take their job of keeping members safe and keeping the group awesome) have the responsibility and final decision on whether a member can attend an event, and may refuse inclusion in activities, even IF the member has the proper designation next to their name. This is seldom the case, but we reserve the right to do this.

During the posted hours for an event, members must agree to not engage in any activity that exceeds the stated level of the event. The event host and/or facilitator acts as monitor to assure this, but your participation is needed.

Please be aware that if you attend member-hosted events or events that are cross-posted (e.g., posted on more than one Meetup group board or on Facebook), SPP cannot ensure the quality of your experience or the caliber of other attendees. For instance, if you go to a public place or private party where some of our members are meeting, do not expect that the same Care, Consent, Confidentiality, or Level system will apply.

Finally, please note that it's your responsibility to pay attention to levels and to not attend anything that would be too much of a stretch for you or your relationships.

## Level 4 - Deeper Community
This level is for members who are deeply embedded into our SPP community and is granted on a case by case basis. For more information about events at this level please attend an Orientation or contact [Leadership](/contacts).


### Now that you understand our Level system - go have fun!

## Membership
* [Join SPP](/join)
* Edit [your profile](https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/profile/)
* [Pay your dues](https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/pay_dues/) – If your card doesn’t charge, make sure your card is still active! Meetup won’t tell you if it isn’t.

## Events

* [Calendar - See the full calendar pages all at once](https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/events/calendar/)
* [Upcoming Events](https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/events/)
* [Past Events](https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/events/past/)

## Public Facebook Page

https://www.facebook.com/sexpositiveportland/


# Member Agreements

* [Member Communication Agreement](/resources/communication-agreement)
* [Care And Confidentiality Commitment](/resources/care-and-confidentiality-commitment)
* [RSVP Agreement](/resources/rsvp-agreement)


# Member Communication Agreement

Because we are in community and are actively creating a culture of care, confidentiality and consent, when disagreements arise we deal with them swiftly, open heartedly and maturely. To foster a loving and drama-free environment, we agree to the following:

* All communications are voluntary and consensual (meaning free of coercion, harassment, or pressure).
* We will directly communicate with members that we need to resolve issues.
* We will seek assistance to help us directly communicate with others if needed. We will do this by contacting [SPP Concerns](https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/members/249010430/).
* We will not talk negatively about each other, participate in gossip, repeat hearsay, or build coalitions to gain support against other members.
* We will strive to remain open to constructive criticism, thanking people who bring us direct feedback.
* SPP social media forums, such as the private SPP Facebook group and the Meetup event group discussions are not an arena to air grievances or concerns about a specific person. *ALL such posts will be removed by the Administrator or moderator. Any person who posts such items will be directed to submit their concerns to the MCCC via [SPP Concerns](https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/members/249010430/).*
* As much as possible, we agree to talk about and listen through issues in a constructive and caring manner.
* We will avoid using blaming language or language that includes a diagnosis of someone else. We strive to talk from our own observations of what happened, how that affected us, and to say how we wish to be treated in the future.
* Other than speaking briefly to another member to help clarify our own thoughts and feelings or speaking to the facilitator or host of the event where the conflict or concern happened, we will not share our concerns about other members, including Leadership and Board members, outside of the MCCC.
* Concerns that cannot be well-addressed directly by the parties involved can be directed to the MCCC via [SPP Concerns](https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/members/249010430/). 
* If neccesary, please complete the [Member Incident Report](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScPDLfkV0GAk942cKzPUu3gEyl52Dr7E_oUwf4UPlFTQ1z0nw/viewform). 
* If one party is unable to be present at a mediation, for whatever reason, they should send a letter outlining their position; and it will be taken under consideration. However, we strongly desire that members be present unless it would be grievously injurious to them (i.e., more than uncomfortable or inconvenient). 
* All forms and concerns will be filed for future reference.
* Members will be advised of the Leadership decisions and agree to abide by them or leave the group. 
* We know that perfect solutions are hard to come by, so we agree to be as forgiving and understanding as possible, both with the people involved and the people assisting in any conflict resolution. 

# New Member FAQs

## I have applied but haven't been accepted yet...why not?
We like to have fun without reservation, so we take membership very seriously! Keeping this community growing and connecting positively takes work. Membership approval depends on your openness in answering the questions, whether you are a good fit with our community, whether you included an actual photo of yourself, and membership balance (gender, orientation, experiences, skills you can lend to the group, etc.) If you are waiting more than a week, please consider learning more about the group by reviewing this site (what we're about), messaging with more detail in your answers to the questions, adding a photo of yourself, highlighting your assets/skills/experiences/orientation-fluidity, and/or joining with a female friend.

## I'm in! Where do I start?
Read the [Care & Confidentiality Commitment](/resources/care-and-confidentiality-commitment), [Levels Explained](/resources/levels-explained), [How to Level Up](/resources/how-to-level-up), and basically everything in [Resources](/resources) :).

Look at the [Calendar](https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/events/calendar/) and RSVP to as many Level 1 events as you can/would like to attend - especially Orientation, Awesome Boundaries, STARS, and one of our Socials (only RSVP if you are able to attend).

Attend as many Level 1 events as possible (unRSVP as soon as you realize you can't attend an event). Attending events gets you into the community, making friends/connections and learning about sex positivity!

Attend Orientation as soon as you can to learn the nitty gritty of SPP! (P.S. - this is necessary to level up to Level 2, along with paying your dues).

## I've attended some events, why am I not leveling up?
Be sure to check [How to Level Up](/resources/how-to-level-up) to see if you are attending the required events to level up and don't forget to pay your dues. You can always message [SPP Membership](https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/members/189929146/) for more information.

## I don't understand all this level stuff. Can anyone help me?
Of course! Our [Leadership](/contacts) is here to help you navigate the levels and feel safely welcome in the group as you experience the community and grow. Go to a Social or Orientation! Ask an event facilitator or Ambassador! Leadership wear badges at events so feel free to ask any one of them to help you out! Only contact designated leadership (Event Hosts, Ambassadors, Board Members) or members you have met in person. We do not allow trolling of our members.

## Can I bring non-members to events?
You can bring non-members to Level 1 events, public events, and outings. Level 2 and above events are for paid level-appropriate members only. Friends who have been active in the sex positive community (educators, therapists, known-kinksters/BDSM/community members, etc.) might be able to attend depending on the event and on a case-by-case basis (depending on event-type, venue size, etc.). Contact the event host or a leader to address specific situations.

## I've been a member of other sex positive communities before, do I need to attend every event on the [Leveling Up Checklist](https://www.sexpositiveportland.org/resources/leveling-up-checklist), or can I fast track?

The levelling system is not only there to educate you in the ways of sex-positivity. It is also in place in order to create a safe container for all of our members. By holding to the leveling system, we ensure that you get to know our community and vice versa. We want to make sure you feel well integrated with our community and that the community feels comfortable with you. So even if you are an expert in all things sex-positive, if the community does not know you, it would be inappropriate for you to attend higher levels events. There are rare cases where someone is well known in our community though has not been officially part of SPP. These exceptionally rare cases are handled with great care by our [Leadership Team](https://www.sexpositiveportland.org/contacts). While some exceptions are made, the general rule is everyone goes through the system the same way to create an equal, fair community.

## My partner has been attending events as my +1, why is s/he not leveling up?

We track attendance by RSVPs. If your partner is not RSVP'd themselves, they may not get credit for attending. Individual memberships are the best way to ensure you get credit for every event you attend and level up at the pace that is healthy/safe for you. If your partner or friend has been attending events as a +1 please encourage them to apply and officially join SPP. Once they do so, they need to communicate to membership which classes they have attended so they can get proper credit for leveling. 

## How do I submit events, suggestions, or complaints?

Events - Anyone with Event Organizer privileges can draft an event for approval. In order to receive these privileges you must attend a How to Host an Event class which pop up on our [Calendar](https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/events/calendar/) periodically. In addition, you can always suggest an event to our wonderful Events Coordinator, [Karen](https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/members/4955605/)!

Suggestions for the group - policies, subgroups, etc. should be sent to [Leadership](https://www.sexpositiveportland.org/contacts) and directed to the most appropriate group. For example, if your suggestion pertains to events, send them to the Events Coordinator. Suggestions for an existing event should be submitted to the Event Host.

Complaints should be brought to the attention of the event host if they are about the event itself or behavior at an event (or to someone in Leadership, like an Ambassador, if the host is part of the complaint). At the beginning of each event the host(s) should introduce themselves and identify members of leadership present, so you know who to go to with questions, attendance/membership issues, leveling up information, or any other/issues or concerns that may arise during an event. Also, members of Leadership wear badges so they are easy to identify at events. Please, for your own safety and the health of our community, do not brush safety or boundary concerns aside. Bring them up to leadership right away. For more details please see our [Resolving Member Complaints section](https://www.sexpositiveportland.org/resources/resolving-member-complaints).

## What is "trolling?"

When you contact someone out of the blue without first meeting them in person this is called trolling. We don’t allow trolling. We are not OKCupid or Tinder. We expect our members to respect each other and our policies, and our members thank us again and again for upholding them. 

If you message someone by mistake (they aren’t the person you had a 10-minute conversation with at an event — the wrong “Jenny” if you will) just apologize and move on. If you keep the conversation going without them knowing you and they let us know, we become concerned that you may not understand the policies and could continue to, knowingly or unknowingly, disrespect our members. Please review the guidelines to better understand this and other policies.

The only exception to this policy is if you have pertinent questions for Leadership. You may contact Leadership through Meetup. Please note that they will have special designations next to their Level status, for example: 'L4, Ambassador' or 'L4, Board Member.' Also, if someone is a designated [sponsor](https://www.sexpositiveportland.org/resources/sponsors) and you want them to sponsor you for an event you may contact them through Meetup as well.



# Positively Kinky (PK) Leveling Up - a subgroup of SPP


There is no longer a separate leveling system for the Positively Kinky subgroup. Instead one who completes the requirements will simply receive a __"K"__ designation next to their Level designation. 


__There will be classes open to any SPP L2 member which will be social / educational with no kink play of any sort. Restricted events will be open only to those with a "K" designation.__

## "K" Requirements:

- Complete Kink 101
- Complete Boundaries and Negotiation for BDSM
- Complete Safety & Fluids
- Be approved by Kink Events Leader and Membership Committee Leader

# RSVP Agreement

Event coordinators plan on accommodating those who RSVP “Yes”, so please remember that your RSVP counts!

Out of respect for the lovely hosts, volunteers, and attendees of events: if you must cancel your attendance to an event, please change your RSVP on the event's page on Meetup immediately. Avoid canceling within two hours of any event.

In case of emergency that occurs within two hours of the event please call, text, or message the event host in addition to changing your RSVP.

If you make a habit of failing to show up for events without notice, or of canceling very late, you may be un-RSVP'd from waitlisted events or dropped from the group.

We appreciate your cooperation in this matter.

Thank you!

# Resolving Member Complaints

__Steps to resolving member complaints swiftly and compassionately__

SexPositive Portland realizes that there may be times when one member purposely or more likely, unintentionally, crosses another member’s boundaries. If this happens to you, we ask that you immediately follow the below path to resolution. Please do not wait more than a few days!

If this is a minor issue: 
Talk to the person! We are always afraid to talk to people! Practice your new communication skills. Always use 'I' statements and not 'you' statements. Share your hurt without accusations. Did this work? If YES, you have potentially created a new friend!! If NO then go to the next step of filling out a claim form and cease all communication with the person you are reporting. Both parties will be contacted and brought through the mediation process to build community healing.

Is this a 'major' issue? Fill out a complaint form and the care coordinator will be contacting you both.

## Step 1

If the severity of the incident is minor, we ask that directly communicate with the person. Let the person know that what they have done is not acceptable to you and that they should not do it again. If you feel comfortable that they get it and that they will be more aware and respectful of your boundaries in the future, then no more action in needed. If they don’t seem to get it, please go to the next step.

## Step 2

[Fill out this complaint form](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScPDLfkV0GAk942cKzPUu3gEyl52Dr7E_oUwf4UPlFTQ1z0nw/viewform "Member Incident Report") and send it to SPP Concerns via Meetup messaging. Cease all communication with the person you are reporting. Both parties will be asked not to attend events past Level One while report is being reviewed.

Please read the Member Communication Agreement and agree to follow the recommendations of not participating in gossip, hearsay, or coalition building against the person as this only inflames sentiments and makes it harder to get to the bottom of things.

## Step 3

You will be contacted by one of our members in the Membership Concern and Conflict Committee. Please have all available documentation and witness statements available for review, that includes text streams, emails, voicemails, or any other communication you have.

If the incident was fairly minor, often, it is enough that we talk to the person and give them coaching and training for how to be better with boundaries. However, for stronger claims, it is necessary that we have both parties in the room in order to clear things up. In that case, both parties must be in attendance, unless the evidence is overwhelming and it is agreed that it would be detrimental to the claimant to be there.

We take claims very seriously. At the same time, we recognize that in some instances it is more a matter of perception and even personality clashes that are at the heart of the matter, rather than that a true wrong has taken place. Thank you for working with us to lessen conflict and spread love!


# Member Resources

## Member Account

* Not a member yet? [Click here to apply](/join)
* [Edit your profile](https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/profile/)
* [Pay your dues](https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/pay_dues/) – If your card doesn’t charge, make sure your card is still active! Meetup won’t tell you if it isn’t.

## Information and Tools

* [New Member FAQs](/resources/new-member-faqs)
* [Member Agreements](/resources/agreements)
* [Leveling Information](/resources/leveling)
* [Leveling Sponsor Resources](/resources/sponsors)
* [Recommended Reading List](/resources/reading-list)
* [STARS Info and Resources](/stars)
* [Volunteering](/resources/volunteering)
* [Member Concerns and Complaints](/resources/concerns-and-complaints)
* [Contacts](/contacts)
* [Event Accounting for Coordinators](/resources/event-accounting)


## Board Members


| Name  (term end Dec.)     |      |      |      |
| ---------- | ---------- | ---------- | ---------- |
| [Cliff Rees](https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/members/8549743/)  (2020)   | [James Wind](https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/members/115359142/)  (2019)     | [John Sickler](https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/members/176098262/) (SPW n/a)     | [Kirsa Moonwhisper](https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/members/232464399/) (2021)      |
| ![Cliff](//images.ctfassets.net/z60c05cc1iui/43JpRLEfjaq6OSsA00EoSc/f367445b40d93bce928e856bf0a35465/Cliff.jpeg)      | ![James](//images.ctfassets.net/z60c05cc1iui/VTWMaGMf6KCkYge2kMUYs/8487a0596b89d6696540a83ed251e62e/James.jpeg)       | ![John](//images.ctfassets.net/z60c05cc1iui/4g8ZWpz8Dm2sugy64WwWc8/c4176cee6ec873dfe9c4c3986ed87786/John.jpeg)       | ![Kirsa](//images.ctfassets.net/z60c05cc1iui/2RBlK4MC8MSeciKMo6s0Mc/a06cd773a18c90bfa3080c945c065ada/Kirsa.jpg)       |
| [Lance Hitchings](https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/members/13739043/) (2021)      | [Susan Cohn](https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/members/34979732/)  (2019)     | [Yaz Amirsoleymani](https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/members/84289742/)  (2021)     |        |
| ![Lance](//images.ctfassets.net/z60c05cc1iui/2pFEPcIFrOYU0sMm0w6oWc/e8d66444bfe9c76107ccf4fe4703fdbf/Lance.jpeg)       |  ![Susan](//images.ctfassets.net/z60c05cc1iui/25VFsNfUVKGs2A0QYaIY0O/59a95525612c197d087d69c60070797b/Susan.jpeg)      | ![Yaz](//images.ctfassets.net/z60c05cc1iui/3SFjwTvEw8202kKo6GUwYo/16cf95c731b74a804b19f3138a125dda/Yaz.jpeg)       |        |



## Meeting Notes

* [4/17/2018](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1sQfHpNaTKjK0DZSb6kWiUKF5wSYlHBXP6-YTzYYOXV8/edit?usp=sharing)
* [1/27/2018](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1d15xuh5WhBB7Co8RWral0eqBMJHyt57AZ-8E6JjzpGE/edit?usp=sharing)

## Financial Reports


# STARS Safer Sex Talk Worksheet

[Download a Word version of this document](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1vEgAjYtcxRVHGvY-CDorF5htER_O86wJm345W2u07Fw/edit "STARS worksheet") with attractive formatting

Visit [www.maketimeforthetalk.com](https://www.maketimeforthetalk.com "www.maketimeforthetalk.com") for even more information.

# Sexually Transmitted Infections
The last time I was tested for STIs was:

I was tested for the following and my results were (please note if tested at different times):


|            |            |            |            |            |
| ---------- | ---------- | ---------- | ---------- | ---------- |
| GC/Chlamydia Genital       | Positive       | Negative       |    Not tested    |
| GC/Chlamydia Throat       | Positive       | Negative       | Not tested       |
| GC/Chlamydia Anal       | Positive       | Negative       | Not tested       |
| HSV 1 blood test       | Positive       | Negative       | I have this       | Anti-viral       |
| HSV 2 blood test       | Positive       | Negative       | I have this       | Anti-viral       |
| HIV 1/2       | Positive       | Negative       | I have this       | PrEP       |
| Syphilis       | Positive       | Negative       |         |
| Hepatitis B       | Positive       | Negative       | Immunized       |
| Hepatitis C       | Positive       | Negative       | Immunized       |
| HPV with my Pap Test*       | Positive       | Negative       | Immunized       |

**The pap test is done without HPV testing below the age of 30 in people with cervixes. The HPV test can also be done on anal tissue for people who have receptive sex. There is no test available for men who only have insertive sex  at this time.*


I get tested every:

- I am only sexually active with one person
- I have not been sexually active since my last test
- Get tested before every new partner
- 3 months
- 6 months
- Yearly

My risk factors include:
- I am sexually active with men who have sex with other men.
- I have multiple sexual partners
- I use needles for drugs
- Sex Work (for money or drugs)
- Time incarcerated or with incarcerated partner
- I am under 25 years old
- I don’t use barriers for penetration (oral, genital, anal)
- I have (had) a partner with Herpes type 2
- I have (had) a partner with HIV

*__How about you?__*


# Turn-Ons

My erogenous zones are:

I like to be caressed lightly/firmer here:

A sexual fantasy I’d like to explore is:

I like my vulva/penis referred to as:

I like it when my partner does this to me:

I enjoy doing this to my partner:

Some things I would like to explore are:

My ideal sexual life would be:

My best sexual experience was:

I usually engage/enjoy/prefer in this type of sexual activity the most: Insertive or Receptive / Oral, Genital, Anal

# Avoids
A big turn-off is when someone does:

Right now I am not interested in:

Something that happened that I didn’t like was:

Ejaculation fluid preferences:

My choices about sex and menstruation (blood) are:

My worst sexual experience was:
or
I have certain triggers they are:

I do not like to be touched like:

__Other Things to Consider:__
- Feelings about pornography, sex toy and props:
- Desire for “Vanilla” or “Kink” sex and what that means for you.
- Use of alcohol, marijuana, other recreational drug use and sex.
- Frequency, pacing and duration of sexual encounters. Talking/Noise during sex.
- Receptive/Insertive/Top/Bottom preferences. Don’t make assumptions based on perceived gender.

# Relationship Intentions/Expectations 
*Who am I and what I desire with you*

My sexual orientation is:

My gender orientation is and my preferred gender pronouns are:

I am Monogamous/Polyamorous/Something else all together

I am Partnered/Single

If partnered, is it an open relationship?
My partner(s) is/are -gender-:
My agreements with my partner(s) is/are:

I am looking for a relationship/a hook-up/something else WITH YOU:

After “encounter” desires:
Communication- form (text, email, calls), how often
Social Media presence

Tonight I would like to:

# Safer Sex Etiquette

For safer sex I use barriers with: Oral/ Penetrative, Toys

I do not use barriers for:

My barriers include: condoms, dental dams, gloves.

I use anti-viral medications/would like my partners to use prophylactic anti-viral meds

Do you want children?

What is your ideal method of birth control?

What are your ideas/thoughts if an unintended pregnancy were to occur?

# STARS: Make Time For The Talk

### What is STARS?
STARS is an easy-to-remember acronym that helps to begin a conversation leading to consensual great sex. 

#### *STARS stands for STI Status, Turn-On’s, Avoids, Relationship Intentions and STI Etiquette.*

STARS was created by our CEO, Evelin Dacker, MD. By using STARS, you create a safe space for talking about subjects we often keep to ourselves, so… Make Time For The Talk!

Think of it as a way to check in with yourself about your needs, desires, boundaries, and any other aspects of your sexuality that are important for you and your partner to understand. 

STARS is such a big part of SPP culture that learning it is required for moving through [our leveling system](/members/leveling).

## STARS Resources

- [Dr. Evelin Dacker's TEDx Talk on STARS](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06Z6mKMGq4M "Evelin Dacker, MD STARS TEDx Talk")
- [STARS Home on the Web: Make Time For The Talk](http://maketimeforthetalk.com/ "STARS: Make Time For The Talk")
- [STARS Worksheet, Long Version](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1vEgAjYtcxRVHGvY-CDorF5htER_O86wJm345W2u07Fw "STARS Long Worksheet")
- [STARS Worksheet, Shorter Version](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ownG1Hx6Ykk2-GbZ21b6le5VOWf0qYXeAH7-o2oHpTY/edit "STARS Short Worksheet")
- [STI Testing Recommendations](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1V_C0mKvo5CZ9w9xur3sCS1z1XWhXsgtnkpmpTNrFRwM/ "STI Testing Recommendations")
- [Portland Area Sex Positive Therapists/Educators/Counselors/Providers](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1fqajq5k6WV3s8T6xpp80asDqoh83IFbnnzElvecyOyM/ "Portland Area Sex Positive Therapists/Educators/Counselors/Providers")

- [SIECUS](http://siecus.org/ "SIECUS") - Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States
- [AASECT](http://www.aasect.org/ "AASECT") - American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists
- [Go Ask Alice](http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/ "Go Ask Alice") - Columbia University’s Health Education Program
- [World Professional Association for Transgender Health](http://www.wpath.org/ "WPATH") - This organization was formerly known as HBIGDA.
- [International Professional Surrogates Association](http://www.surrogatepartners.org/ "surrogatepartners.org")
- [Lifestyles Organization](http://www.lifestyles.org/ "lifestyles.org")
- [Metropolitan Community Church](http://www.mccportland.com/ "mccportland.com")
- [Miss Vera’s Cross-Dressing Academy](http://www.missvera.com/ "missvera.com")
- [Oregon Bears](https://www.oregonbears.org "oregonbears.org")
- [Parents & Friends of Lesbians & Gays (PFLAG)](http://www.pflagpdx.org/ "pflagpdx.org")
- [Planned Parenthood Federation of America](http://www.ppfa.org/ "ppfa.org")
- [Radical Faeries (Portland Chapter)](https://www.facebook.com/groups/46915460987/ "Radical Faeries")
- [SexualHealth.com](http://www.sexualhealth.com/ "sexualhealth.com")
- [Society for Human Sexuality](http://www.sexuality.org/ "sexuality.org")
- [Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality](http://www.sexscience.org/ "sexscience.org")
- [The Kama Sutra Temple](http://www.tantra.org/ "tantra.org")
- [The Kinsey Institute](http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/ "kinseyinstitute.org")
- [World Association for Sexology](http://www.worldsexology.org/ "worldsexology.org")
- [The Kink Aware Professionals Directory](https://ncsfreedom.org/resources/kink-aware-professionals-directory/kap-directory-homepage.html "Kink Aware Professionals") - Therapists, Counselors
- [Center for Sex and Culture](http://www.sexandculture.org/ "sexandculture.org"), San Francisco, CA - Provides sex-positive classes, workshops, social gatherings, and hands-on, practical skills-building events. Mission statement, upcoming events, background
- [The Center for Sex Positive Culture](http://thecspc.org/ "thecspc.org"), Seattle - They do the annual, Seattle Erotic Arts Festival (SEAF)


*If you know of other organizations that should be on here, please let us know. Thank you.*


## Gabriella's Reading Recommendations:

- Anapol, Taj, revised (1997), *Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits*. IntiNet Resource Center.
- Barratt, Barnaby B., (2004), *Sexual Health and Erotic Freedom*. Xlibris Corporation
- Bornstein, Kate, (1995) *Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women, and the Rest of Us*. Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group.
- Bram, Christopher, (2012) *Eminent Outlaws: The Gay Writers Who Changed America*. Grand Central Publishing.
- Bronski, Michael, (2012) *A Queer History of the United States*. Beacon Press.
- Chia, Mantak and Douglas Abrams, (2009) *The Multi Orgasmic Man*. Harper and Collins.
- Deida, David, (2004), *The Way of the Superior Man, A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work and Sexual Desire*. Sounds True Inc.
- Deida, David, (2005), *Finding God Through Sex*. Sounds Good Inc.
- Eastman, Dossie, and Janet Hardy, *The New Topping Book*. Kindle editions, 2011
- Eastman, Dossie, and Janet Hardy, *The New Bottoming Book*. Kindle editions, 2011
- DeMello, Anthony, (1995), *The Way to Love*. Image Books/Doubleday (This is the most important book)
- Easton, Dossie and Janet W. Hardy, (2009) 2nd ed, *The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, and Other Adventures*. Celestial Arts.
- Eisler, Riane, (1989), *The Chalice and the Blade: Our History, Our Future*. Harper & Row.
- Eisler, Riane, (1996), *Sacred Pleasure: Sex, Myth, and the Politics of the Body*. Harper San Francisco.
- Garrison, Omar, (1964), *Tantra: The Yoga of Sex*. The Julian Press, Inc.
- Harrington, Lee and Molina Williams, (2012) *Playing Well with Others: Your Field Guide to Discovering, Exploring and Navigating the Kink, Leather and BDSM Communities*
- Joannides, Paul, (2005), *Guide to Getting It On*. Goofy Foot Press.
- Kent, Tami Lynn, (2011), *Wild Feminine: Finding Power, Spirit & Joy in the Female Body*. Atria Books.
- Kingma, Daphne Rose, (1998), *The Future of Love*. Broadway Books.
- Odier, Daniel, (1997), *Tantric Quest: An Encounter with Absolute Love*. Inner Vision.
- Odier, Daniel, (1999), *Desire: the Tantric Path to Reawakening*. Inner Traditions.
- Osho, (2001), *Love, Freedom and Aloneness: The Koan of Relationships*. St. Martin’s Griffin Publishing.
- Osho, (2005), *Tantra: The Way of Acceptance*. Ixos Press.
- Pearce, Joseph Chilton, (2002), *The Biology of Transcendence: A Blueprint for the Human Spirit*. Park Street Press.
- Perel, Esther, (2007), *Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence*. HarperCollins.
- Ramsdale, David and Gentry, Cynthia, (2004), *Red Hot Tantra*. Fair Winds Press.
- Richardson, Diana, (1999), *The Heart of Tantric Sex: A Unique Guide to Love and Sexual Fulfillment*. O Books.
- Ryan, Christopher and Jethá, Cacilda, (2010), *Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships*. Harper.
- Saraswati, Swami Satyananda, (1984), *Kundalini Tantra*. Yoga Publications Trust.
- Saraswati, Sunyata and Avinasha, Bodhi, (1995), *Jewel in the Lotus: The Tantric Path to Higher Consciousness*. Ipsalu Publishing.
- Schaeffer, Brenda, (1987), *Is It Love or Is It Addiction? *Hazelden Information and Educational Services.
- Schnarch, David, (2009), *Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love & Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships*. Norton.
- Siegel, Stanley, (2011), *Your Brain on Sex: How Smarter Sex Can Change Your Life*. Sourcebooks Casablanca.
- Taormino, Tristan, (2008), *Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships*. Cleis
- Wolf, Naomi, (2013), *Vagina: Revised and Updated*. Ecco.


## Recommended Sex-Positive Articles

- Ferrer, Jorge N. "[Spirituality and Intimate Relationships](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&ved=0ahUKEwifop6d9NPbAhVrylQKHYVHDeoQFggsMAA&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.ciis.edu%2FDocuments%2Fspirituality%2520and%2520intimate%2520relationships.pdf&usg=AOvVaw39UzaieDOBSFYgxzb5L4A1)."
- Isaacs, Nora. "[Tantra Rising](https://www.yogajournal.com/yoga-101/tantra-rising)."


# Sponsor Feedback

[Sponsor Feedback Form](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdv3-GlS4lYGjMIy4iGkseP491_BXeNIS1r3aBinWB8TT79-Q/viewform "Sponsor feedback")

This is the form that sponsors use to give feedback on their sponsees.


# Sponsor Form

[Let us know your sponsor!](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1PV5SaBRwOKn5FCVAglPW2FjmB72dpEom5SdGAWAjZ-g/viewform?edit_requested=true#start=invite "Sponsor form")


# Sponsors: Who, What, Why and How

## General Questions

__Quick links:__

[Let us know your sponsor!](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1PV5SaBRwOKn5FCVAglPW2FjmB72dpEom5SdGAWAjZ-g/viewform?edit_requested=true#start=invite "Sponsor form")
(the L2 completes this prior to the event to indicate who will be their sponsor)

[Sponsor Feedback](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdv3-GlS4lYGjMIy4iGkseP491_BXeNIS1r3aBinWB8TT79-Q/viewform "Sponsor feedback")
(the L3 or L4 sponsor completes this after the event to submit information to the Sponsor Lead)

__What’s the point of sponsorship?__

Sponsor relationships help us get to know each other and build community. Leveling up isn’t just about understanding boundaries and consent, it is also about connecting to the SPP community. Sponsorship help connect newer and long-term members and provides an opportunity to build the culture and community of SPP.

__How does the sponsorship process work?__

- Any L2 member wishing to level up to L3 begins by RSVPing to an L2/L3 event and is initially placed on the waitlist.
- The L2 member searches for a sponsor, then fills out the sponsor RSVP form. The event hosts clears the recorded sponsor-sponsee team off the waitlist.
- After the event, the sponsor fills out the Sponsor Feedback form for their L2 sponsee.
- After attending at least two sponsored events, the Membership Team reviews sponsor feedback and evaluates if the L2 member is ready to move to L3.

## Sponsee Questions

__How do I get a sponsor?__

It is your responsibility to find a sponsor for an upcoming L2-L3 event. You can visit the Sponsor RSVP form and look through the list of already approved sponsors. Maybe one of them will be at your event, if so, send them a message and see if they are available to sponsor you.

Also, think about some of the L3 or L4 people you met at L1 and L2 events. See if one of them is going to your event and available to sponsor you. Even if they are not yet on the sponsor list, they can usually get approved as a new sponsor and added to the list prior to the event.

__I found a sponsor, do I need to do anything else?__

Yes. You need to let Sponsor Lead know about your sponsor by out the Sponsor RSVP form at least one day prior to the event. Simply posting on the event page is not enough. If we don’t hear from you, we can’t pass the information on to the host and the host will be un-RSVPed you from the event. Even if the host didn’t RSVP you, bypassing the Sponsor RSVP form you will not get sponsor feedback credit for the event.

__I can’t find a sponsor. Can I go anyway?__

No, not if you are at L2 going to an L3 event. If the event you want to attend is a progressive L2-L3 event, you can attend and stay for the L2 portion. If you have trouble finding a sponsor, feel free to reach out to SPP Sponsor on Meetup and we will try to help.

__My sponsor cancelled. Can you help me find a new one?__

First, visit the Sponsor RSVP form and take a look at the approved sponsors on the dropdown menu. You may be able to find a new sponsor on that list. If that doesn’t work, see if there are any L3 or L4 people you know who could become a new sponsor.
If you’re still without a sponsor, send a message to the event host and/or SPP Sponsor on Meetup. We’ll do our best to help. Keep in mind, though, that we are a volunteer run group and can’t always get to things as quickly as we would like.

__I’ve been sex-positive forever, can I skip the sponsor thing?__

The leveling process is the same for everyone, regardless of their level of experience. Our leveling system also allows newcomers to get to know the community better, whether the newcomer is also new to sex positivity or totally sexperienced. Leveling up isn’t just about understanding boundaries and consent, it is also about connecting to the SPP community. By the time someone is leveling up to L3, they should have met new people at L1 and L2 events who they’ll be happy to see at L3 events and beyond.

If you find yourself at an L1 or L2 event wishing you were already leveled up, take the opportunity to welcome folks new to sex positivity and enjoy the opportunity to be role model for them.

__Why am I still not leveled up yet?__

Attending two L3 events with a sponsor is the minimum requirement for someone to level up, but in general we encourage people to attend more than two sponsored events. Leveling up isn’t just about understanding boundaries and consent, it is also about connecting to the SPP community. Sometimes we want someone to attend more events with a sponsor because they are struggling with expressing and honoring boundaries and consent, but more often we just want folks to get more connected with the wider SPP community before moving to L3.

In addition, you may not have received credit for all of the events you attended with a sponsor. Did you fill out the Sponsor RSVP form before your L3 events? If not, you may have attended the event but didn’t get credit for it. Also, we may not have received feedback from one of more of your sponsors. Feel free to check in with SPP Sponsor on Meetup and we’ll take a look.

## Sponsor Questions

__What is a sponsor and what do they do?__

Sponsors are committee assistants. They attend events representing the Membership Committee to vet members, act as ambassadors, and help promote SPP.

Sponsors communicate with Sponsor Lead about the fit of members wishing to leveling up from L2 to L3. They attend L2/L3 events with an L2 sponsee, are available to offer support and answer their sponsee’s questions. After an event they provide feedback to the Membership Sponsor Lead.

__How do I become a sponsor?__

Any L3/L4 in good standing can become a sponsor once approved by Sponsor Lead. If you are interested in becoming a sponsor, please communicate with Sponsor Lead (message SPP Sponsor on Meetup).

__Can I sponsor my lover or partner?__

No, you cannot. Sexual involvement between sponsor and "sponsee" is not acceptable.

__But, what if things get juicy...?__

So you’re sponsoring this person at this event and it turns out you’re totally into each other... You know we said “no sexual involvement between sponsor and sponsee” but, well...

We’re all about sex positivity and celebrate new mutual connections! Here’s what you can do: if you and your sponsee suddenly each have the hots for one another, just ask another sponsor at the event to take over your sponsor responsibilities! Then you can end your sponsor-sponsee relationship right there and pursue whatever way of connecting feels right to both of you.

__Can I sponsor two or more people at an event?__

No, each sponsor can only have one sponsee per event.

__I’m hosting an event, can I also sponsor someone?__

No, event hosts cannot be sponsors at their own events.

__Can I sponsor the same L2 person for all of their events?__

We want members to experience a range of connections so we ask sponsors to only be someone’s sponsor for a specific event, then let someone else become their sponsor for the next event. That way we get different perspectives and more people get to know each other.

__If I become a sponsor, how often do I have to sponsor people?__

You can say “no” to any sponsoring request. If you don’t feel comfortable sponsoring someone or just don’t feel up to it, don’t sponsor them. Approval just means that you *can* act as a sponsor, it doesn’t obligate you agree to sponsoring requests.

__I’m a new sponsor, now what do I do?__

Before an event, have your sponsee fill out the Sponsor RSVP form. Your name should be on the sponsor list now, if it isn’t, send us a message at SPP Sponsor on Meetup and we’ll fix it.

Either you or your sponsee also need to let the event host know about the sponsorship.

If possible, make arrangements to meet up and chat with your sponsee during the social time before the event.

During the event, ask yourself the following questions about your sponsee:

- Do they understand the broader context of sex-positivity and are on board with acceptance, non-judgment, care, confidentiality and consent (would they be a good SPP citizen?)
- Are they good with their own boundaries?
- Are they good with other’s boundaries?
- Have they made connections in the group so they’ll have people who are happy to see them at an L3 event?
- Are there people who would want to interact with them at that level? (We want to make sure people don’t come and feel isolated, nor sitting on the sidelines looking lonely, as that makes the rest of us feel we need to take care of them.)
- How do they integrate into the group? Watch how they handle interaction. (If you bring them to an L3 and you see that they are totally dependent on you for their sensual/social interaction, they’re not ready to be moved up.)
- Would you take pride knowing that this person is at an L3 event because of your efforts?

Check in with your sponsee after the event and talk to them about any questions of concerns they have and share feedback you have for them.

Finally, submit your sponsor feedback to Membership Sponsor Lead via the [Sponsor Feedback form](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdv3-GlS4lYGjMIy4iGkseP491_BXeNIS1r3aBinWB8TT79-Q/viewform).

__Where do I submit my sponsor feedback?__

You can submit sponsor feedback via the [Sponsor Feedback form](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdv3-GlS4lYGjMIy4iGkseP491_BXeNIS1r3aBinWB8TT79-Q/viewform). If you’re having trouble with the form or have any questions for us, you can also message Sponsor Lead at SPP Sponsor on Meetup. 

# Volunteer Compensation

[Event Compensation Table](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/18twbWFB1-C1FXnc3cmeyw8FWqkNJF8S_MsISbmyzc6Y/edit#gid=0)


# Volunteer Credits

Volunteering is at the heart of SPP. Helping to make events accessible to as many members as possible is too.

[Download and print this volunteer card](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Gbuqc2LZfwBNtA6To4EMGEgVMuFL8M0wERzic-VA18s/edit) to track your credits.

Generally, here are good ways to look at volunteering within SPP and to use this card.

1. If you volunteer at an event, before or after, and also get the full experience of the event in such a way that your volunteering does not cut into your full enjoyment and participation, then the event itself for free or reduced rate is your reward for volunteering. Example - doing set up and being done by the start of the event.
2. If your volunteering means that you did not get to fully experience the event because you were busy helping, this is the kind of volunteering to collect a volunteer credit for. Example: Sitting outside the event welcoming in late participants while the event is going on, doing food service during an event, being the event facilitator.
3. Each V checked off on your credit card is a volunteer credit ready to use. Each EC signed is an indication that that credit has been used at an event. Show your card to the facilitator of the event you get credit at so they can initial the V and to the check in person at the event you want to use credit at so they can initial the EC next to each V being used.
4. Please be prepared to be flexible about redeeming your credit. Not all events can allow credit to attend (if the costs of running the event are high) or allow everyone who would like to use credit to attend (if too many people attending that way means the event can't break even). It is the facilitator's choice whether or not they take credit and how many. Some facilitators post this info on events but not all do. When in doubt, message the facilitator of the event to ask.
5. Events that cost more than $20 to attend will ask for two volunteer credits to attend for free not just one.
6. There is always room for improvement in SPP so share your suggestions and observations with leadership if you see ways this system can be better.
7. Volunteer credits are meant both to reward volunteers and to help make events more accessible to all. If you are someone who has time to volunteer and also the funds to pay your way at events, consider gifting your earned credits to someone for whom both time and money are tight.
8. 

# Volunteer Signup

[![https://slack-imgs](//images.ctfassets.net/z60c05cc1iui/5F6JaNWzvwQN8Rl8Rxu5gL/40fe7d78ab27042a284bfed3af9705fc/https___slack-imgs)](https://www.signupgenius.com/go/4090C49A4A92CA6F85-february2)

# Volunteering

* [Volunteer Credits](/resources/volunteer-credits)
* [Volunteer Signup](/resources/volunteer-signup)
* [Volunteer Compensation](/resources/volunteer-compensation)
* [Event Accounting](/resources/event-accounting)



# SPP - SexPositive Portland

### *Our mission is to change the world by promoting healthy sexuality through community and education.*

## Come, learn, play, and grow with us!  

We are a member/volunteer organization. Our members plan and host events centered around understanding and exploring all aspects of human sexuality, consent, relationship styles, kink, gender, and orientation. We are a diverse and welcoming community.

## What is Sex Positivity?

Sex positivity is a social movement and philosophy which regards all consensual expressions of sexuality as healthy, encourages sexual pleasure and experimentation, places an emphasis on informed consent and advocates sex education and risk-aware sex. Sex-positivity makes no moral distinctions among types of sexual expression, orientation or identification, regarding these choices as matters of personal preference.

## What Does Our Group Do?

SexPositive Portland is a real community of open-minded, fun, and awake people. We provide a chance to explore, learn, and grow in a safe, welcoming, and consensual environment. 

Our real world events include classes, discussion groups, workshops, socials, parties, festivals, and more. They range from member hosted events (in homes, parks, restaurants, etc.), outings together where we might go watch and signature events (facilitated events like our snuggles, couple/triads massages, and parties), that are created by SexPositive Portland and led by its core volunteers.

Our Mission is to change the world by promoting healthy sexuality through community and education.

We value healthy sexuality that is created through autonomy, boundary setting, enthusiastic consent, and pleasure. We are creating a community based on direct communication, social justice, connection, fun, and support. We value accessible education focused on experiences and growth, and replacing unhelpful patterns of behavior through a diversity of new ideas.

## About Applying
We are a secret group. That means only members can see your profile.

__PLEASE FILL OUT ALL QUESTIONS FULLY AND COMPLETELY.__ Short answers mean that you have not read this and will be immediately denied.  
The main things we seek in our members are:

- Understanding of sex-positivity. We are not a dating  or sex group. We are a community. 
- Related experience or learning (books, workshops, friendship circles). Total newbies will be considered, but you'll need to bring a lot of the next item.
- Enthusiasm and willingness to be a part of a community by volunteering or coming out to events regularly.
- We are not a hook-up group, a dating site or a place for swingers to play.  
- We look for emotional maturity, social awareness, good communication styles and a willingness to grow. 
- You must live within 60 miles of Portland or visit often.  
- Diversity and equity are very important to our community. Knowing who is in our group gives us a better idea of how we are doing and how we can improve. Please share some of your identities with us (gender, race, sexual orientation, etc) to create a vibrant community. 
- If you have a common name, please add an initial or last name. We prefer real names, not aliases.  
- You must be over 21 
- Couples must apply separately. Please reference each other.
- You must have a recognizable photo of your face without anyone else in it.

When you fill out your profile, know that that is what other members will see and how they'll decide if they want to be friends and/or play with you.

Men, we love you and need you, but please understand, we get a lot more applications from single men than their female counterparts so, please be understanding if we bring an extra level of scrutiny.



## How Do I Participate at Events?

At events you are expected to be respectful of the boundaries of others and of the event, to take care of yourself, and honor your boundaries and agreements. Beyond that, anything else is up to you. You will never be expected to do anything you don't want to, or to interact with anyone you don’t wish to. But we do expect you to contribute as an active participant through positive social interaction. Sex positivity is about authentic, respectful, open communication, and being honest about your desires.

Anyone can attend Level 1 events  so please feel free to bring a friend or loved one. However, if you wish to attend Level 2 or higher events you must attend an Orientation, Awesome Boundaries, a Social and pay your annual dues. 
To keep people where they want to be (not exposed to things they aren't ready for or don't desire) we've developed a level system and you will notice that all of our events will tell you what level that event is, that is, what is the maximum level of contact or sexuality that will be happening.


In a nutshell:

- Level 1 is Social/Educational (workshops, classes, outings, discussion groups) 
- Level 2 is Sensual (snuggle parties, group massage, sensation play: touch that is nurturing and affectionate) 
- Level 3 is Sexy without an agenda. Learning how to integrate and create connection
- Level 4 is Deeper Community

We have an established system for vetting people and helping them work up the level system. But many people are happy staying at Level 1 or 2 or 3.

People tell us our level system is the thing they like the most about our group. 

__For more information:__
Our website: [https://www.sexpositiveportland.org](https://www.sexpositiveportland.org)
Or visit our public Facebook Page: [https://www.facebook.com/sexpositiveportland](https://www.facebook.com/sexpositiveportland/)


[Sounds good to me. How do I become a member?](/join)

This class is not for members, and taking this class does not guarantee acceptance into SPP. Members could take the class, but it will not count for your leveling up requirements.

Preregistration and payment required!

<a href="https://impactflow.com/event/awesome-boundaries-10272">RSVP and purchase tickets</a>

Public Awesome Boundaries class: May 2nd!


Our real world events include classes, discussion groups, workshops, socials, parties, festivals, and more. They range from member hosted events (in homes, parks, restaurants, etc.), outings together where we might go watch and signature events (facilitated events like our snuggles, couple/triads massages, and parties), that are created by SexPositive Portland and led by its core volunteers.

If you are not yet a member of SPP, you can still come to some of our events to meet us, check us out, and learn a few things. Head over to our <a href="/events"> public events</a> page!

Events

Our mission is to change the world by promoting healthy sexuality through community and education.

We are a member/volunteer organization. Our members plan and host events centered around understanding and exploring all aspects of human sexuality, consent, relationship styles, kink, gender, and orientation. We are a diverse and welcoming community

Our mission

Membership tools

- <a href="https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/profile">Edit your profile</a>
- <a href="https://www.meetup.com/sexpositivepdx/pay_dues/">Pay your dues</a>

Information
- <a href="/resources/volunteering">Volunteering</a>
- <a href="/resources/concerns-and-complaints">Member Concerns and Complaints</a>
- <a href="/stars">STARS Info and Resources</a>
- <a href="/resources/agreements">Agreements</a>
- <a href="/resources/leveling">Leveling information</a>
- <a href="/resources/sponsors">Leveling Sponsor Resources</a>

Helpful resources

Sex positivity is a social movement and philosophy which regards all consensual expressions of sexuality as healthy, encourages sexual pleasure and experimentation, places an emphasis on informed consent and advocates sex education and risk-aware sex. Sex-positivity makes no moral distinctions among types of sexual expression, orientation or identification, regarding these choices as matters of personal preference.

What is Sex Positivity?

SexPositive Portland is a real community of open-minded, fun, and awake people. We provide a chance to explore, learn, and grow in a safe, welcoming, and consensual environment.

We are a secret group. That means only members can see your profile.

What does our group do?

Public, nonmember Awesome Boundaries class. Preregistration and payment required. This class is not for members, and taking this class does not guarantee acceptance into SPP. Members could take the class, but it will not count for your leveling up requirements. Members can share this class with people that may be interested in learning boundaries, but not ready to join SPP. Here is the link to RSVP and purchase tickets: <a href="https://impactflow.com/event/awesome-boundaries-10272" class="linkified">https://impactflow.com/event/awesome-boundaries-10272</a>

Public Class Awesome Boundaries. Nonmembers only.

SexPositive Portland invites you to join us for a marvelous L1 Wine Social All are welcome, the more the merrier! Devil's Den 1520 NE ALBERTA, Portland, OR 97202 Come start your evening with interesting, like-minded people. Share in the laughter and invigorating conversations, while sipping some of Oregons best wines. To maintain our “free” event, we request that all guests purchase at least one sparkling water, beer, or treat yourself to an amazing wine experience. <img src="http://photos1.meetupstatic.com/photos/event/6/d/a/9/600_455188073.jpeg" style="margin : 5px ; max-width : 700px ; max-height : 700px"></img> This is the perfect opportunity to dress up sexy, funky, or cozy - as you like, and to spend time with your new community in a relaxed and social, L1 SPP event. <img src="http://photos1.meetupstatic.com/photos/event/6/d/d/0/600_455188112.jpeg" style="margin : 5px ; max-width : 700px ; max-height : 700px"></img> <img src="https://secure.meetupstatic.com/photos/event/6/0/7/8/600_463164696.jpeg" style="margin : 5px ; max-width : 700px ; max-height : 700px"></img> Your hosts for this month look forward to welcoming you (maybe they have a fun game or two to play with us?)

SPP Wine Social @ Devil's Den - Level 1

Coffee, Tea, We? Welcome to SexPositive Coffee Social. The point of this event is to spend relaxed, quality time with new members to learn more about you, and to help you steer a course for your involvement in the amazing world of SexPositive Portland. It's a great opportunity for new members to meet other new and current members and start to build community. • What is SexPositive Portland all about. • Explore the journey that you have been on • Learn about our subgroups and resource. • Ways to get involved After an opening, we will divide into groups. Each group will have a seasoned member at the helm, to guide the conversation, &amp; answer questions. Newcomers, please try to come to this before attending an orientation. Coffee, tea, and light snacks provided $8 cost Feel free to bring a friend to this event. Use this link to RSVP and pay for them: <a href="https://impactflow.com/event/sexpositive-coffee-social-10345" class="linkified">https://impactflow.com/event/sexpositive-coffee-social-10345</a> If they later join SPP, they will get credit for leveling up. If you bring them as a guest, they will not. If you realize you are not able to attend, PLEASE change your RSVP. This is a very popular event Having 'no shows' when there are members turned away, is so not cool. Also, 'no shows' are on your attendance history record. If you get too many of those, you could be bumped from future events, &amp; that would be a shame. So sign up &amp; show up! Thanks for your cooperation.

Select a section:

Member Agreements